Set The Bar High

As I approached the venue the competition revealed itself. Before me stood an eclectic queue stretching 2 blocks long consisting of goths, punks, barbies, jocks - any stereotype you can think of, they were there. Open calls are always cut throat so you definitely need to stand out from the crowd. Which is why it was so amusing that almost no one I was looking at did so. What amused me even further was that this queue of hopefuls were not lining up for anything as illustrious as a TV bit but in fact a Lower East Side bar job.

I have been a bar tender all my life, all over the globe and almost always in live music venues or cocktail bars. I started at the age of 18 and am now a sophisticated 33 so that's a lot of range and experience under one's belt. Yet in the fine city of New York none of this seems to matter. I had been told by bar tending buddies it was a cut-throat world but never quite understood the gravity of the situation. Bar tending has always been my first port of call upon entering a new city and has never let me down, until now.

The American tipping culture is an obvious factor as to why this servial position is so revered. On a good night in a busy bar a drinksmith can make anything from $50-500 in tips alone, making it one hell of a nice little earner. Couple that with the fact New York has some of the worlds most exciting bars and music venues and you have yourself one sought-after employment market, regardless of how many thousands of bars there are.

Of course you could rock up to your neighborhood local and pour pints there but those of us who are musically inclined tend to drift toward the local venues which was an idea myself and half of New York's bar staff had that very day. The Electric Ballroom has a good reputation with bands and punters alike and is open every night meaning work would be plentiful. This of course gives them the upper hand, which leads to the advert posted on Craig's List simply asking people turn up between this time and that time and 'wear what you would usually wear to work in a bar'.

But the final nail in the coffin was their exiting requirement 'NYC bar tending experience a must'. Alas, this is the one thing I don't have. I'm fast, accurate, friendly, fun, honest, well-endowed in the chest area and can mix anything from a gin and tonic to a Long Island Iced Tea, but none of this had taken place in this fair city. Which begs the question, what makes serving New York crowds so different? Are they more particular? More demanding? Do they have a higher standard or ask for intricate drinks? I can safely say that on a night out in the Lower East Side your regular patron is less than picky and often doesn't care what they are downing as long as it's happy hourly priced and free-poured to the rim. And as far as a music venue crowd is concerned, well, they hardly pay a cover for a good cocktail do they.

I'm hoping to somehow blag my way into this inner-sanctum of booze peddling and cocktail shaking sometime in the near future, but until then you'll catch me on the other side - ordering meticulous and unheard of concoctions that may or may not deem my peers worthy of a giant tip.